miercuri, 21 august 2013

Error 404

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under   Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and   Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while   Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause   Husband 1.0 to default to   Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend   5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary,   Husband 1.0   is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend   Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

Sursa: Tomata cu Scufita

luni, 12 august 2013

What to do, what to do...

Eu sunt o persoana foarte nehotarata. Cred ca e al treilea post pe tema asta deja. Si daca nu v-a umezit primul in care nu stiam ce drum de caramida galbena apuc spre viitor si cateva dorinte, sau al doilea care e ala bala portocala, acesta e continuarea si sper ca si sfarsitul ca deja sunt satula sa ma repet. Dar obisnuiesc sa ma plang pe aici, pentru aia am inceput sa scriu, asa ca poate pe viitor cand o sa fiu iar nehatarata/nemultumita o sa apara altceva mai interesant scris dar cu acelasi miez.
In acest post subliniez faptul ca aceasta nehotarare a mea se datoreaza faptului ca sunt nemultumita ca persoana si e ca o boala ( rich and spoiled bitch disease). Asta e pentru ca imi permit luxul de a crede ca pot sa fac alegeri, desi asta ar intoarce lumea pe dos, daca lucrurile s-ar misca in functie de nemultumirea/nehotararea mea. Daca e alba vreau neagra, daca as avea neagra insa nu mi-ar placea, as vrea si alba. As vrea sa caut o combinatie, dar oricat as spala hainele albe cu cele negre tot nu se decoloreaza sa ajunga la un gri de care sunt multumita. As vrea sa fie cum vreau eu. Sa pot face ce vreau, cand vreau, cum vreau. Lucrurile pe care le vreau sa se intample cand si cum vreau.
Dar poate e doar o stare de plictiseala datorita verii. Vara am o mare energie pe care vreau sa o consum pe anumite activitati. Nu spun ca duc lipsa de ele, dar vreau mai mult, cel putin cat mai tine vara pana sa revina starea de lene. Am fost la festivale: Electric Castle si Peninsula (unde nu am facut bungie jumping. voiam si nu voiam). Am fost la mare: plaja, balaceala, jocuri, bere, plimbari, flash tower... Am avut si iesiri in oras interesante si nopti albe. Dar cu toate acestea, nu sunt multumita.
In fond e in firea mea, sunt femeie si am menirea sa complic treburile. Konichiwa bitches!